In April 1998, I stood at the start of (what was) The Flora London Marathon with every intention of running every step of the 26.2 mile course.
In April 1999, I stood at the start of (what was) The Flora London Marathon with every intention of running every step of the 26.2 mile course.
I failed both times!!!!
Did I get a time ... Yes!
Did I get a medal ... Yes!!
So why (I hear you ask) do I feel like I failed?? Well, I didn't do what I set out to do. I didn't run every step of either marathon. Instead, both times I got to 17 miles ... crashed ... and had to walk/run the remaining 9 miles which is a really Really REALLY long way when every muscle is screaming at you and your head is telling you to just sit down and cry.
That was my last attempt at running a marathons. So when marathon no. 3 came around in 2004 ... I decided to power-walk it!!
Did I expect this to be easier?? YES!!!
Was it??? NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Those 26.2 miles beat me again and I have vivid memories of sitting on the steps of the Tate Modern crying, convinced I could not finish. I did finish but it was not an enjoyable experience and quite what made me go back for marathon no. 4 still baffles me to this day!!
Since that third disaster, I have gone on to complete a further 23 event marathons ... all of which I have walked and am now proud/ashamed to admit that my walking speed is faster than those first 2 run attempts.
This could open a huge debate about what is easier ... Running or walking but I'm not sure I want to get in to that just now!!
Before I get there I need to attempt the dreaded 18-20 mile 'long run'. This is due to happen this weekend and I will be perfectly honest with you ... I am freaking out!!!
I am fully aware that I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to complete this marathon without walking and many of you will say that a marathon is a marathon regardless of how it is done. But let's face it, we are all guilty of doing this to ourselves. We set targets all the time ... whether it is to fit into 'that' pair of skinny jeans or to smash a Personal Best time in an event ... we like to push ourselves. And these targets aren't simple ones, we are actually quite hard on ourselves when it comes to target setting and set goals that will push us to the absolute limit!!!
Why do we do it??? Because we know that the feeling we get when we hit that target will be the best feeling in the whole wide world. The only problem is ... the feeling we get when we don't hit the target is the worst feeling in the whole wide world!!! But I guess doing everything we can to avoid that feeling is what drives us on!!!
So ...
Can I get beyond that 17 miles in training this weekend?? I have no idea!!
Can I complete 26.2 miles of Brighton Marathon without walking?? I have no idea!!
Can I get through the next 4 weeks without going into total meltdown?? I very much doubt it!!
Will I give it everything I've got so that I can experience the best feeling in the whole wide world on April 14th??
You bet your ass I will!!!!
And if I do it ... maybe I will open up that running v's walking debate!!
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