Don't worry, you haven't missed Chapter One .. I didn't write one!!
Paddock Wood was event #1 of 2015 and the aim was to use it as a training run for Brighton. It was wet, it was windy, it was cold but I got the job done and managed to get a course PB. It was a lovely feeling to know I was fitter and faster than my 25 year old self!!
So, onto Chapter Two
I'm not going to write a mile by mile account of what happened, that would take far too long and I want you to stick with this long enough to get to the good bit .. it all gets a bit dramatic at the end! Instead I'm gonna chop it up into chunks, so grab a cuppa, strap yourself in .. because you are about to get inside my head and ride something of an emotional roller coaster!!
Sunday 5th
10 miles - DONE!! Had foot pain for most of it but nothing serious.
Monday 6th
Foot pain is worse. Time to start stretching my calf.
Tuesday 7th
Fell over when I stood up getting out of bed due to an intense pain in my calf. This isn't good!!!! I make an appointment to see a sports physio and get some treatment!!! OUCH!!!!!!!!!
Friday 10th
Calf has eased and after a follow up treatment with Mr Osteo, I am beginning to think Brighton might be possible after all. Apparently, the pain has been caused by a bad cramp so I have been advised to take magnesium.
Saturday 11th ... Seaside bound!!!!
I can now only feel the pain in my calf if I press it (probably should stop doing that) and I 'm feeling good. All I am having to deal with now are pre-race nerves but I'm used to those, so it all feels pretty normal.
On the way to Brighton we take a detour to Ditchling to drive the epic hill that I rode as part of last year's London to Brighton night ride. It was quite an eye opener seeing it in daylight (couldn't see a damn thing when I rode it in the middle of the night last September) and I was quite surprised that I did it on my bike!! A very clever strategy by Mr McB as this little detour gave my dwindling confidence a much needed boost!
So we are in Brighton and I have my number!! I have waited a long time to pick up this number ... having to withdraw from events the previous year always makes number collection seem just a little bit more special.
Sunday 12 ... Marathon day!!
I slept well so I'm feeling pretty fresh. I drink some tea, eat some toast (I now know I should have had a LOT more than this) and get ready! The bonus of staying with family means you get driven right to the start (thanks Sue) and we are in a very sunny Preston Park by 8am.
More tea and a pain au chocolat (still not enough)
Loo stop #1
Bag store
Loo (bush) stop #2
Write on legs (C'MON/#IGotThis)
Loo (bush) stop #3 (that's enough now)
Fire up Garmin
Count down
GO!!!!!!
A quick hi-5 with Jo Pavey (she's a mother of 2 don't you know!!) and I'm running!!!
$@£%, There's that foot pain again .. and it's hurting .. a lot!!!
Don't say anything about it, if you say it out loud it will make it real and this pain ISN'T real, it's in your head!! Keep moving .. it'll pass. You haven't even done 1 mile yet .. it's not allowed to hurt this much yet!!!! Keep running!!
Mile 1-4
This feels ok, bloody foot still hurts but I think it's easing, yes, it's easing .. it HAS to!!! Wow, these crowds are fab .. and SO loud! Glad I put my name on my vest .. I feel like a celeb! Sun is out ... this is gonna be a good day! Feeling a bit emotional though ... and it's a bit draining, I need to get a grip!
Ooooooh, this bit's new, where are we going?? They must have shortened a bit of the course somewhere else if we are going up here!! I wonder where .. I hope it's that hill in Ovingdean! Ooh, there is a hill here too, a sharp one too, just take it steady .. You Got This!
Mile 5-13
We are seafront bound now. Will it be windy?? What is that hill up to Roedean feel like?? Will my foot keep hurting like this?? OMG, stop analysing Zoe .. just switch off and run! Music goes up a notch. Oh good, another hill .. a longer one this time .. but I feel strong and it doesn't actually feel too bad at all. This is great, loving it!! There's the sea!!!! It's breezy but it's getting hot now so the cool air is a welcome relief. The road ahead is going up, for as far as I can see .. you've trained for this bit .. dig in .. you got this!
7 miles and there is Sue, Jen and Amy .. hugs, kisses and encouragement and a "See you at mile 11" and off we go again! I can see Ovingdean and RESULT, we don't have to do the hilly bit after all!! Eyes are now pealed .. I'm looking for Crispy .. she's gotta be close ... pink visor, pink socks, Royal Marsden vest .. that's her "CRIPSY"!!!!!! WOW, she looks strong!!
Short rise up from mile 10, the last one of the course so I don't mind. There's Sue, Jen and Amy again ... mile 11??!?!! Are we at mile 11 already?? Goodness, that has gone quick! "SEE YOU AT THE FINISH" ... Keep moving!!
Waving .. who's that waving? There's Christina .. happiest looking marathon runner for sure!!
Brighton is looking beautiful from up here, the pier is getting closer, half way is just beyond that. Keep moving. DON'T LOOK AT YOUR WATCH .. DON'T DO IT!! You had to look didn't you, now you know you could get that elusive 4:20 you have always wanted. But the second half is always so much harder .. I can't keep this up .. Can I??
For the love of God Zoe .. STOP ANALYSING!!!!!!!!
Mile14-18
I can't breathe. Seriously, can't breathe. I wonder if anyone around me has an inhaler??? Do I say anything .. if I do, it makes it real and it's not real .. it can't be .. keep moving. There's a first aid tent round the next corner, you can stop there if you need to. But they won't let me carry on if I say "I can't breathe properly" so suck it up .. keep moving .. relax .. slow down a bit but just keep moving! Chris knows. I know he knows because he is telling me to slow my breathing!! Dammit, if he knows then it must be real!! THIS ISN'T GOOD!!
Hove really is lovely so why does this bit always feel like such a slog .. Look at the houses Zo, they are beautiful, focus on that .. focus on the crowds, they are amazing and they are telling you that you are looking strong so it can't be that bad!! Keep drinking, it's hot .. stay hydrated .. My god, my chest feels so tight .. I can't breathe!! Lose a layer, don't over heat!! The vest is off!! Ooooh I say, I'm running in a bra!!!!
3 miles and you are out of Hove .. that's a Park Run and you do those all the time .. keep moving!
OK .. Hove done, calculate!!! 8 miles to go .. that's just over 2 park runs!! You could do 2 park runs if you had to .. Yeah, but not after 18 miles .. Yes you could!!! FOCUS .. STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF!!!!!
Mile 19-21
Ooooh, I just overtook someone!! I must be doing ok .. I wonder if I can overtake that person up there .. YESSS, I can! I'm still doing ok and I'm still moving, actually .. I'm not just moving, I'm still running .. I'm doing this!! Focus on that chimney now, that's the turning point, that's your target!!!! Scrap that, the damn chimney isn't getting ANY closer .. focus on picking people off instead .. who you gonna over take next .. that's better, far more satisfying!!!
Powerstation .. fish .. petrol .. not the sorts of smells you want to deal with when feeling nauseous .. all the more incentive to get out of this God forsaken place!!
Pink visor, pink socks, Royal Marsden vest .. It's Crispy, she's passing me .. She's looking strong, how is she doing that, why can't I do that .. I can't even answer her .. She must think I'm so bloody rude!! I'm not rude .. I'm actually so proud of her .. it's just that I literally CAN'T speak!!! For the record .. "GO CRISPY!!!!!" is what I wanted to yell at her as she powered away!!!
Turning point .. water .. BANG .. I'm doubled over .. was that the wall?? Why do I feel so sick?? What's happening?? Chris, come back .. I can't shout!!!!!!!!!!! Come back!!!
I've gotta keep moving .. stop looking at your watch, it's not about that any more, FOCUS! You're not going to be sick so stand up, get moving and run! Jeeeeez, I'm strict!! Why can't I tell myself to sit down and have a rest instead, that would make so much more sense to me right now!!!!
1 more mile and you will be back on the seafront and you will see the finish. Ok, so it will be 3 miles away but you will see it!!!! You got this!!
More water .. feel sick again .. need to stop .. DON'T .. keep moving!!!
Mile 23-25
Seafront .. you can do this. Just get to the end of those beach huts. Good!!!! Now get to the end of that next row of huts. Fantastic!!! See those people leaning of the railings over there, you are doing better than them!
BOSH .. there's the BOSH crowd!! Get your arm up Zoe, show them you are a BOSHer, they will see your band and give you a cheer .. you need it .. get some help .. soak it up!!!! A shameless plea but it worked .. I'm still running!
Now, use that boost to get you to that big building up there. Oooooh, it's a pub .. so many people .. every single one of them is helping every single one of us .. what an amazing crowd!!! They are saying we are amazing ... but in all honesty, it's them .. they are the amazing ones and they have no idea just how much they are helping!!! I wish I could thank them .. but I can't .. I just about manage a thumbs up and keep moving!!
WHY ISN'T THAT PIER GETTING ANY CLOSER!!!!!!!! Stop it, don't look at it .. look down and see what's on your leg .. C'mon!! Now get to the end of those beach huts and get your vest back on .. let people shout your name, It'll help you to keep moving forwards!!!!
Mile 25-26.2
Left turn, back on the road .. you are now level with the West Pier .. remember, that's the pier you thought was so far away .. well you just reached it!! Just 1 mile to go now, that's 4 laps of a track, one school run with Luke .. break it down how you like, you know you can do a mile!!!!
It's gone quiet .. the crowds have stopped cheering .. Why?? I'm down again, hands on knees, I can't move .. I'm going be be sick!!
NO YOU'RE NOT, GET UP AND GET MOVING!!!!!!
I'm up, I'm moving, I'm running, the crowds cheer .. normal service has resumed!!!
Oh dear God .. there it is .. there's the finish I'm gonna do it!!!
LOOK AROUND YOU Zo-Zo .. TAKE IT IN ... YOU HAVE JUST RUN A MARATHON!!!!
Stop the Garmin (priorities) .. now you can sit down!!!
What on earth is that noise .. Oh Lord, it's me!!!! Feel so sick, I have 2 paramedics next to me asking if I'm ok. They give me water but I need sugar but coke clearly isn't regulation NHS medicine but trust me, it should be at times like this!!!
And then ...
Now to get up and move again but this time I know it's ok to walk. Medal, T-shirt, banana, kit bag, beach ... and I'm down again!!!!! If I don't get sugar in me soon I'm gonna lose it!! Cue the appearance of my coke dealing angel who literally appeared from nowhere, asked if I was ok then went off to get supplies. I thought she would be gone for hours as there were no shops/bars ANYWHERE but she reappeared about 2 minutes later with 2 cans of coke a 4 chocolate bars!! Now you try telling me that someone wasn't looking over me at that very moment!!!!
So there you have it .. a little journey inside my head through event #2 and possibly the worst marathon experience of my life! Over 30 marathons and that was the worst ever?? Was it?? Really?? This claim has got me thinking!! Yes, I have done a LOT of events ... So they can't ALL have been special, fun and enjoyable packed full of pain-free giggles and smiles, surely?? I'm sat writing this with the medals from these 'happy times' hanging on the wall next to me and I'm looking at each of them in turn trying to remember what REALLY happened during the event rather than the feeling it left me with once it was all over.
This is just a selection of my findings:
London Marathon 1998 - had to walk from mile 17
London Marathon 1999 - had to walk from mile 17 and was in tears from about mile 23
London MoonWalk 2004 - Sat down at about mile 21 and cried
Run to the Beat Half 2010 - Panicked and couldn't breathe properly for the last 2 miles
London Marathon 2011 - Struggled to breathe from mile 7 and collapsed at the end
Ultra-Moon 2012 - Collapsed at the end of 52.4 miles and was put on a drip!
Beachy Head Marathon 2012 - Sat down with about 2 miles to go and refused to get up
Thames Path 100k 2013 - Lost the ability to speak with 10k to go, could barely put one foot in front of the other and was almost hypothermic
Vitruvian Tri 2013 - Sat and cried at most of the feed stations on the run
Outlaw 2013 - Needed a serious talking to at a feed station on the last run lap to keep me going!
So you see, it's not all smiles and instant positivity. Bad times happen, they happen all the time to all sorts of people but those bad memories fade along with the muscle soreness and tiredness and what gets left behind are positive thoughts and pride. The tough bit about all of this is that before we get that wonderful feeling of pride, we will often beat ourselves up far more than we should ... well, I know that I do anyway!! And that's what this blog is all about really. It's good to get it all out there and show what it can really be like with no filters, no fluffiness and no pretending ... just honesty!!
Yesterday was not a good day for me ... but it was a blip. There were some very dark times and I made some big mistakes but as my very wise osteopath said to me "A mistake is only a mistake is it's not learned from".
Which begs the question, what have I learned:
I need to eat more for breakfast before I do big miles
Take real food with me to have on the way because gels just don't work for me
I need to monitor my salt/electrolyte levels
I need to give myself a break and not beat myself up if things don't quite go to plan
I need to learn to stop over analysing EVERYTHING when I'm finding things hard
To say I'm nervous about having to do this distance all over again at The London Marathon in just 2 weeks time would be a huge understatement ... I'm terrified. But if I can put all of these new strategies in place, and soon, I should be able to avoid a repeat of what happened yesterday when I take on event #3!!
Watch this space!
And that's if for now, but if you want more regular updates, please take a look at www.fb.com/AnotherUltraCrazyYear as I post there very regularly. If blog reading is more your thing ... I will see you at the end of #3!!
If you feel the urge to support this latest Ultra-Crazy challenge with a donation .. please head to www.justgiving.com/McUltra-Crazy/ and give what you can. Thank you so much
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